My Request for a Flat-screen Television

To Whom It May Concern in the Federal Government (Secretary Paulson will do):

I just heard the news that GM will be asking the Federal government to help it buy Chrysler. I first would like to apologize for not submitting my request sooner. I do realize that GM’s request might make mine less likely to be honored. In any case, I would like to ask the federal government to buy me a flat screen TV. I have a television from the year 2000. It has a glass screen. It is rounded. It is a very heavy television. Once I buy my new flat screen, my old TV’s yours. I think it isn’t quite old enough for a museum yet but in a few years it might be. Until that time, maybe there’s a basement somewhere where you can keep it. Is there a basement somewhere to store my old television?

What is the difference between LCD and plasma? I’m not sure which one to get. Sony has a 42” plasma for $749. I could also get a 46” RCA for 1250$ which I’d rather do because RCA is an American company (I think) and I heard plasma screens die after seven years, is this true?

If you buy me a flat screen TV you will not be disappointed. I will be more up to date on current events particularly politics. I know that there are some flat screen TV’s that are smaller, for less money, but I really need to see the screen. Lately when I watch the news, I just can’t believe some of what I see. I want to make sure what I’m seeing is really happening.

Please send me $5000 for my new flat screen TV. I will need the extra money to buy a wall mount and pay for installation. Also, I might need a new shelving system on which to put my DVD player (another dinosaur from ’06!). And do you know, why do they call some of these things flat panel monitors?